My Home Town

Welcome to Sarasota, Florida, the land of growth and development! Are you weary of traveling on quaint country roads, where the beauty of a serene, natural landscape follows you endlessly along at thirty-five miles per hour? Does the sight of wild flowers and wood storks stepping high along the edge of a shallow trickling stream turn you stomach into knots? Then I welcome you to Paradise! For here, the beauty of what is “natural” is tolerated no more. New construction promises abundant happiness to all! However, if upon arrival in my town, you should be unfortunate enough to spot even the tiniest of eye-sores, say a serene pasture, dotted with cattle grazing below a blanket of early morning fog, do not despair. Rest assured, officials already have plans in the making. Before you can say “Oh how terrible”, this offensive sight will be miraculously replaced by a magnificent shopping complex. The majestic design will no doubt be decorated with enough neon signs and parking lot lights to camouflage any full moon that attempts to show it’s face on our landscape. The endless concrete and blacktop will bring peace to any observer. But don’t let me forget the icing on the cake…majestic traffic lights waving overhead! For your extra pleasure, don’t miss the widened streets, trimmed with plenty of turn lanes. Ah Wonderful!!! If by some chance, you are leaving your home town because of your fear or hatred of the local wildlife, you will find comfort here. The developers’ plans to rid this town of these wild creatures, is moving right along. As of this moment, the only wildlife you need to be concerned with are those found lying along our many magnificent streets. We apologize for the armadillo, raccoons, vultures, and the other native animals that can still be seen. Officials assure us that the sight of these invaders, encroaching upon our land will soon be a thing of the past. Only the old-timers will have to live with the unfortunate memories of Sarasota’s native wildlife. Thank you developers!! I hope you find our town the answer to your dreams, and that you bring all your friends and loved ones to the land of growth and development!!